


Shadows of the Past

by FishiestCatfish



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Also Aroace John, Because That's The Headcanon Fellas, Depression, F/F, Implied abuse, Karkat POV, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Minor Character Death, Mystery, PTSD, Possible Dave POV, Post-Ret, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Though This Is My Own Concept Of A Story Taking Place After Homestuck, Tries to follow canon, Vriska Is A Huge Bitch, davekat - Freeform, not sure yet - Freeform, rosemary
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2019-11-28 01:20:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18201554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FishiestCatfish/pseuds/FishiestCatfish
Summary: The game is over, and everything is perfect... sort of. Not much can mend the wounds of the past, but at least everyone is safe now... right?





	1. the Ups and Downs of Paradise

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Thanks for checkin' this thing out! This is my first attempt at a Davekat fanfic, so I hope you enjoy it!

Darkness. Chilling screams. It feels as if you are underwater, drowning yet breathing, surrounded by the muffled screeches of friends you once knew but can’t quite recall. Your mind feels like a haze, as if you had just gone back to your infancy and could think nothing but instincts. No matter how much you try, you can’t come out of the water, out of the fuzz, and can only sink deeper and deeper into darkness as the agony above fills your ears. Distant honks can be heard.. Why is that familiar? How did you get here anyway? You don’t remember anything before being dunked into this hell. It’s almost as if you’re dreaming or someth-

You open your eyes to find yourself in a dark, comfortable room you have come to call home. Your chest rises and falls unevenly as you take shaky breaths in an attempt to calm down. It only takes you a moment or two to regain your composure and soothe your mind. It was just a dream, and you are currently safer than you ever have been in your life. Truthfully, you have no reason to be afraid.

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and beside you rests the biggest annoyance you have ever met. Not only is he pestiferous, but he has the astonishing ability to make you love him despite it. As you sit up and stretch, he stirs slightly and wraps his arms around your waist with a smug grin spread across his face, eyes still closed. You huff in reply, despite the sleepy moron being enough to help you forget about all horrors troubling your mind, as per expected in the morning routine.

His name is Dave Strider, and even though he looks as if he were obsessed with being the coolest kid around, his facade always had a tendency to slip. The morning was always a prime example of this, his control over his mouth even more absent than usual. That was saying something, too, seeing as this was the same sopor-for-brains that had run his mouth non-stop since you first saw him. As he brings his crimson eyes up to look at you, a sly demeanor about him catches your eye.

  
“Good mornin’ Karkles, great king of all trolls,” he drawls, his smile now wide enough to show teeth. Your immediate response is to push him off with a sarcastic snort, making sure to roll your eyes for dramatic emphasis.

“Good morning, snide-ass,” you snark back, struggling to keep a smile from creeping onto your face as well. Much to your annoyance, Dave sits up with a bounce that makes the bed shake vigorously. You shoot a glare in his direction, but he doesn’t seem to catch it, and he rises to his feet, stretching without a care in the world. Wow. Sometimes, it’s easy to forget how tall he is, easily half a foot above your own height. Sure, you are a bit scrawny for a troll, but it was impressive to see anyone even close to the height of Gamzee. It was one of his irritatingly admirable traits you had come to appreciate.

It had been about three years since the game had been defeated, and everyone had fallen into the routine of their new life fairly quick. At first, it seemed as if everyone would be overwhelmed with the responsibility of governing, but as it turns out, there really isn’t so much to do in this new society aside from enjoy it. As a result, you and your friends had all settled into an apartment complex of sorts, each couple or family getting their own decently-sized apartment. You couldn’t thank the mayor enough for making the can-like building sturdy enough to block out most noise generated from the others. If you had to listen to Egbert’s loud enthusiasm or Harley’s morning barking, you swear you would lose your mind.

Dave, now fully clothed, murmurs something about breakfast and walks out with a meager wave. You sigh and begin to get ready yourself, taking a small amount of time to dress and clean yourself before heading out to the kitchen, feet and eyelids heavy from the halcyon atmosphere. As your socks hit the kitchen floor with a soft sound, Dave turns to smile at you, shitty breakfast pastries already in hand, about to be toasted. “There’s grumpy. Damn KarCrabby, you took a while, had me hella scared there for a moment. Thought the sheets ate you. Figured you were already lost in the bed’s digestive system, like a-”

He’s cut off as your hand is placed on his mouth. It’s too early in the morning to deal with Dave’s bullshit, that’s for sure. He receives the message and turns back towards the counter, plopping the artificial junk food in the toaster. You wrinkle your nose, knowing that although they taste good, eating those pastries was practically begging for health complications down the line. For gog’s sakes, the shit is more sugar than it is actual food.

“What is the plan for the day? Are we going to sit around here like brainless barkbeasts or are we going to be productive with our time?” you mumble, taking a seat at a nearby table with your face propped up haphazardly on one hand. The toaster pops out the sugary pastries and Dave comes to sit next to you, handing you one of the two pieces.

“Actually, I did have an idea,” he replies, cocking his head slightly as he takes a bite of his breakfast, “you remember how I used to insist on trying to find old bones and shit for fun?”

As a matter of fact, you did remember, almost too well in fact. Spending all day in the hot-ass sun while digging for what felt like hours for no reason is one of the many things you’ve managed not to miss about the past. It was ranked right around constant fear and mind-numbing boredom as far as things you miss, as a matter of fact. “Yeah, that was the longest week of my life, thanks for reminding me.”

Instead of getting frustrated, Dave only chuckles quietly at the attitude you threw. That’s the thing about Dave, you couldn’t really get under his skin if you tried. In fact, that’s part of what makes him both so special yet irritating all at once. “Well, I found out where we almost certainly could find some loot. Turns out we live pretty fuckin’ close to an old American civilization that archaeologists were all the fuck over when I was little. I say we go check it out, actually do something interesting today.”

Your eyes shoot him a biting glare, but the fucker doesn’t even flinch. What a bulgemuncher. “I’ll have you know, Strider, that watching movies while relaxing on our shitty couch is at least a step above digging around in dirt all day like some cemetery troll, which is about as productive as flapping our mouths at the nearest wall,” you shoot back, crossing your arms with a look that dares him to test you. Dave responds by crossing his arms in mockery, taking the dare without a second thought.

“Come on, Karks. Think about the possibilities. We could find pure treasure. We could find the next motherfucking Mona Lisa, buried in the rubble. We could find a shit ton of gold in this bitch. If we’re lucky, we may even find the source of all that salt you are always givin’ out. We could become the kings of salt island. Salt city. Rebuild Salt Lake City. Fuckin’ hell yeah, we could be kings of two kingdoms.”

“Is anyone a bigger dumbass than you? You do realize that I have no idea what the fuck any of that human cultural shit even means, right? It’s not as if I emphasize that certitude every single moment of our lives, Dave.” His human references always frustrated you so much. What was the point of blabbering on and on about shit no one understands? Nothing, there was no point. That was just how he functioned.

  
The both of you are stuck in a moment of silence. Dave leans back in his chair, looking up nonchalantly with a thoughtful expression as you continue to shoot daggers in his direction, as per usual. Finally, after a moment or two, his eyes flick downward to look at you, and his smug expression returns. “If you come with me to help out, we can read one of those shitty romance novels you’re always insisting I torture myself with.”

Your eyes widen immensely at the offer of a lifetime, and you tilt your head to the side as if you were just given an impossible equation to solve. “You… would actually do that? You’ve never offered that in the six years we’ve known each other. This must be some big want of yours if you’re willing to sacrifice that much for it.”

“Hell yes KitKat, I’m not makin’ this shit up. Like, there wasn’t much interest before because I didn’t think we would really find anything, but now? I’m fuckin’ pumped. We’re doin’ this shit,” he answers, trying to hide his excitement in a way that may have worked with anyone who didn’t know him as well as you do. A drawn-out sigh is your reply, but you slowly nod and shrug.

“Okay. We can go check it out, I guess.”

His eyebrows raise above his aviator glasses in pleasant surprise. A sizable leer becomes apparent in his expression and he quickly shoves the rest of his crappy breakfast into his mouth and stands up, rushing to go get his shoes. “Fuck yeah, let me go get bro, alright?” he calls back at you through a mouthful of food.

“Sure, just don’t make me wait on your asses for too long,” you reply, taking your first bite of the pastry as the sound of the front door closing behind Dave echoes out. For a minute or two, your mind remains blank with the grogginess that comes with waking up in the morning. Before long, however, your mind drifts off, thinking back to your days on the meteor, when life was a living hell, but everyone was together.

The adrenaline rush of the first few days on the meteor is the first thing to come to mind, an ache taking place in your chest as you remember losing your friends one by one, afraid that Terezi or Sollux could be next. Afraid of your own best friend.

Man, Gamzee. You hadn’t thought about him in a long ass time. Rightfully so too, seeing as any time your old moirail crosses your mind, your throat gets tight and fear threatens to bubble up within. Maybe he was a murderer, and maybe he was beyond hope of helping, but dumping him in the middle of the ocean felt like both a dick move and a recipe for disaster. Who knows where he would resurface, and what his agenda was. In an odd way, you even miss him. Maybe not nutso killer Gamzee, but the high, chill one you had first befriended. However, it is certainly too late to change his fate. You know you would have years ago if you could.

A cold claw of loneliness grasps at you, and you decide to toss out the rest of your breakfast and head for the couch to curl up for a bit before you’re forced out into the open to cope with daily life. A short nap couldn’t hurt, right?


	2. A 'Joyous' Party of Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so here's the next update! Sorry it took a while, spring break truly is distracting. Don't count too much on frequent updates! This chapter is a bit short than I wished it to be, but adding any more to this segment felt wrong, so here it is, in its 1600-ish word glory!

Shrieks fill the air as you stumble to your feet, looking around frantically for signs of anyone in trouble. Whatever the source of the screaming is, it sounds as if a child were being skinned on a cheese grater. You feel the hairs raise on your back as it gets louder and louder, and you begin to run, desperate to fix whatever horrible wrong was occurring. The blackness seems to surround you indefinitely. After a minute, two minutes, fuck, you don’t know how long, it suddenly becomes a lot harder to move your legs. Your eyes glance down, and almost immediately you wish they hadn’t.  
  
There, the dull eyed upper torso of your old pal Eridan is weighing on you, his eyes fixed on nothing as the shredded end of his body floods the floor with purple fluid. It’s enough to make you stumble and fall ass backwards into a puddle of jade and light green. Alright, so clearly this was a nightmare. You have these all the time, so why are you even shaking, let alone crying? If you were to be honest, you disgusted yourself a little. Besides, all you had to do was wake up.

Wake up. Fuck, please, you want to wake up right this second! Your eyes scrunch tight in an attempt to snap back to reality, but it is to no avail. A cry escaped your mouth as another body falls onto you with a sickening crunch. You can no longer feel the bottom half of yourself, and it scares the shit out of you. Turning your head to see the source of the weight, you are unamused to find the body of Tavros Nitram, soaking you with fudge-colored substance.

Snarling, you shut your eyes and scream into the endless void yawning before you. “Whatever hellbeast is responsible for this inane illusion can come and receive a specialized serving of my foot up their ass promptly! I am completely and utterly sick of this shit, and wish nothing more than to smother you with your own over-sized bulge!” Panting, you finally bring your eyes up to look above you, shocked by the sudden appearance of a figure standing over you. Bright orange cloth covers it and it leans down, blue sword in hand. Eight eyes lock onto you, and an evil, fanged grin crosses your gaze as Vriska savagely plunges the blade into your body.

By the time you have finished your post-wake up screaming, your throat is sore and tears have covered every bit of your cheeks. Once again, you have soaked your resting spot with sweat, and can hear nothing outside of your own beating heart. Dave, apparently back from his fetch quest, is standing at the end of the couch, looking down at you with the most concern you could possibly read from a guy wearing sunglasses. His brother, who you’ve aptly nicknamed ‘Dick’, is leaning on the door frame between the room you are in and the kitchen, staring down at you with stoic indifference. God, you fucking hate that guy.

“Karks,” Dave starts, taking a deep breath and clearly seeming at a bit of an awkward loss for what to say, “don’t get me wrong when I say this, you’re tough as hell, fuck everyone knows you could jack us all up if you really wanted, like damn dude, you ain’t cut out for the normal life, you could be a UFC fighter-” he cuts off his own rambling with an awkward messing of his own hair before getting to the point, “maybe you could consider gettin’ those night terrors checked out?”

Your eyes roll dramatically as an attempt to disguise your own shaken foundations. “Strider, even if that human reference weren’t clearly a lie to cover your own offensive suggestion, I still would call everything you just spewed bullshit due to the utter fact that I, Karkat Fuckass Vantas, am perfectly fucking fine. There is not a single thing wrong with me, and I am fine to handle my problems on my own.”

Dave instantly crosses his arms, and you have to resist the urge to bounce up and sock him for the attitude. Who cares about some stupid night terrors, you aren’t one to back down to anything. Other people need help more than you, so you would just have to bite the bullet and play the role as the strong leader. The silence is only broken by the harsh scoff emitted by Dave’s brother, and taking a moment to glance at him, you see body language that just screams judgements about you such as “weak” and “too much of a dumbass for any Strider”. With subtleness, you bare your fangs at him, making sure that every ounce of hatred comes across to the pointy-glasses-wearing fuckass.

“Personally,” he drawls, meeting your loathing stare with disinterest, “I think that if anything, this only shows more of your already apparent weakness. Sure, not even being able to handle a couple nightmares is pretty embarrassing, but not even being man enough to admit it? Shit man, you’re a mess. The insecurity practically radiates off of you.”

A growl rises in your throat, and Dave throws a quick shake of the head to his bro, clearly disapproving. Dirk doesn’t flinch, let alone show any regret or change of heart. Instead, he turns his head to look behind you, tilting his head questioningly. Much to your surprise, an accented, nervous voice answers the look. “Dirk, I’m not so sure this is a fair judgement to make of your brother’s silly little pal. We all have been through quite a bloody lot, wouldn’t you say? Maybe there’s a need for time to rejuvenate,” reasons the moron you’ve come to know as Jake, as you jump into a sitting position, startled that there had been someone behind you the whole time. Of course, your surprise only earns you another scoff from the dickwad, and suddenly any sympathy thrown your way, such as the look Jake is giving you in the present, only makes your blood boil.

Right on time, Dave is there to release the tension trapped within the room. “Come on, I didn’t invite you all into my house so that you could rile up the troll boy, okay? Actually, as I already told you, I got some way more interestin’ ideas. Fuckin’ treasure hunts. Way more interestin’ than harassin’ the crab.”

Dirk cocks his head curiously. “Alright then, where to? What’s the plan?”

Dave grins smugly, gesticulating in a passionate manor. “Alright, so you know how we’re somewhere in America in the present, you know, the big USA? Well, there were some fuckin’ rad as hell buildings around here. Shit that’d be fuckin priceless to go and excavate, see if we can’t find any dead stuff or shit like that to loot. I say we start with Jamestown since it’s only like- what- an hour long flight? Then we can work our way to fuckin’- I dunno? San Fran. Fuckin’ Plymouth. Some shit like that. Find some stuff worth our while. Look around and grab stuff like there ain’t any rules, cause there isn’t. Well, there are, but we made em, so fuck the system. Y’all in?”

To no surprise, Jake and Dirk are nodding in agreement almost immediately, while your cheeks turn a rosy shade and you stand up, balling your fists and seething with anger; that dumbass Strider always forgets the fine details. “Fucking fantastic! I love the idea- except you forgot one major thing, you buzzbrained grubfuck!” you hiss, turning away as your face heats up even more, “Not all four of us can fly.”

Dave chuckles and nudges you playfully. “Dude, of course I’ll fuckin’ give you a ride, you don’t have to act so damn obvious all the time.”  
  
“Obvious, what the hell to you mean obvious? I am many things, Strider. A headache, a failure, a king of grubs, a nooksucker of the highest caliber, but I sure as hell am not obvious about anything, and that goes double for whatever you’re implying!” you huff. His only response, much to your rage, is wrapping his arms around you and gesturing for Jake to open the nearest window.  
  
“Yeah, alright, I’ll take your word for it, Karkinator. Just try and hold on, okay? We’ll get our asses to the sight of US history so fast you’ll still be talking about how so many obvious facts about you are false by the time we get home. You’ll be all like, ‘I am not cool, I am not weird, blah blah’ and I’ll be like, ‘yeah whatever dude, we’re home now, let’s go watch some shitty shows or something’.”

You grumble but cooperate, walking with him to the window as he prepares to take off, just as Jake and Dirk prepare to do the same. Man, god tiers are the cockiest bastards to ever exist, especially when they actually have a purpose. As if Dave knows what you’re thinking, he gives you a small smile and mumbles some stupid human lyrics to some song about ‘never giving you up or down’ or some shit. You open your mouth to retort the mumbling, but have your breath quite literally taken away as the group goes out the window, your sense thrown off by the sudden wind and height.

Man, thank fuck you aren’t acrophobic. Sure, the view is breathtaking, but it is also incredibly far below and only one slip of the hands away from a plummet of certain death. However, you don’t fret, knowing Dave is one to be trusted. Instead, as the congregation breezes along without trouble, you simply watch the ground pass below, attempting to keep an open mind about the day ahead of you.


	3. A Day Out, A Night In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To summarize this chapter: everyone is dumb and Dirk is an ass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! We're getting into the area where the chapters will actually be chapter-sized, so updates may take longer now!

The rubble was truly beginning to get on your nerves, and this was the only thing on your mind as you carefully trudged through the remains of yet another fallen hut, taking note of it’s material, which was wood. You imagine that the falling of this settlement was considered a tragedy in its time, but really, who the fuck chose wood over stone or metal to construct a hive? In your opinion, any idiot dumb enough to make that decision deserved whatever destruction became of their home. Sure, Dave had said that it was the best humans could do at the time, but really, it just seemed like an excuse. 

Many of the remains looked fairly new, maybe even still valuable, which told you that Dave had rewound earth to a time where this settlement had just fallen within the last few decades. A part of you wonders if he did that on purpose, but lord knows you don’t waste your breath asking, seeing as you would only get a response you don’t understand nor care to understand. Instead, you look up at Dave, squinting as the bright sun shines in your eyes. Damn, that would never stop being annoying, and your eyes fucking hated you for it. 

“Have you actually found something worth all this trouble, Fuck-For-Brains?” you holler to him, cupping your hands to your mouth to make sure the yell reaches him. He looks up, pulling one of his earbuds out of his ear and giving you a thumbs up. Somehow, you highly doubt it, and simply scoff, throwing him a quick middle finger in reply. The response, a laugh, rings faint yet audible, and your face heats up as you yell once more, “Cut that shit out or you won’t be laughing for long!”  
  
Dave doesn’t even attempt to keep his maw shut, as any wise man would do, and instead shrugs and crouches down, getting back to his excavation. God, sometimes you swear you hated that cocky little fucker. You turn back to your own area, utterly underwhelmed by the lack of anything interesting or useful. At this point, you are only scuffing the sand with your shoe, hoping that the minimal action is enough for Dave to qualify as “participation”. It’s not that you cared too much about sparing his feelings; it was a matter of not wanting to provoke a rambling speech from him. 

Wait, what was that? Something hard, white and shiny catches your eye as more sand is kicked out of the way. The gleaming object is almost blinding, but it does not prevent you from crouching down and examining it closer. It appears to be a shard of metal, broken off of something much larger. Odd, considering Dave had said metal was a luxury of the time. “Hey fuckass!” you call to him, annoyance heavy in your tone, “I thought you said almost no metal, especially not PAINTED metal!” The guy peeks up like an alert prairie dog, tilting his head.

“Yeah, and I wasn’t lying,” he replies, confusion sneaking it’s way into his voice. He does a quick glide over to you, landing gingerly on the ground next to you and looking down. You see his eyebrows raise, but his mouth stays in the straight line it normally is. “Dude..,” he starts, tone completely flat, “This is a refrigerator.” 

Your face becomes hot as a flush of shame washes over you. You furrow your brow and scowl at the metal, embarrassed that you hadn’t known better. Alright, so it was time to enter defensive mode. “Well excuse me for not understanding every little thing about human tech and culture, okay!? Especially since when you said no painted metal, I assumed that included food trunks, and didn’t know what to make of this fucking stray scrap metal! Fucking pardon me for not knowing the ‘norms’!”

He kind of just… gives you an awkward glance, clearly questioning in nature. Maybe you had been a bit quick to yell, but in your defense, he’s the one who misinformed you and made you look like a douche. “No, Karks,” he replies slowly, clearly weighing his words, “This ISN’T normal. I’m saying it was a good catch, bro. No idea what fucker decided to set up his wares here. Maybe it was a man-cave. Hell yeah man, what if the settlers had serious bro times, crackin’ open a cold one with the boys. Man, that’d be the shit.” He smiles with satisfaction at that idea. All you do is roll your eyes for what feels like the twentieth time today.

“The only thing that I got from that rant is that this is entirely useless information, and that you are an incredibly skilled spokesperson for arbitrary and vapid theories. Fantastic Strider, I’m applauding you ever so enthusiastically. Never mind the exhales and the vision rolling, I’m just bursting with pride.” He gives you a cocky wink in reply, and you scoff, turning away to search another area. “By the way, when are we getting the fuck out of here? I’m so bored that listening to your rambling was almost better than any other thing I could possibly conceive of.”  
  
Dave hums to himself for a moment, as if he had to calculate the actual remaining time like they were on a strict schedule. Your foot taps impatiently as you wait for a reply, sifting through the grime with a scowl. “Honestly,” he replies, “I suppose it’s up to you. I think I’ve found what I want, and you seem pretty antsy to get home.”  
  
Dirk, nearby but silent until now, looks up with his eyebrows raised judgmentally. If you could, you would kick him right in the globes, but you know Dave would never let that slide. Instead, you flip him the feather beast and bare a couple of your fangs. He regards it without much interest, which only pisses you off more. Sure, Dave also shrugs off your hostility, but somehow when he did it, it didn’t feel so much like a personal attack. “We’re heading back?” inquires Dirk, tilting his head ever so slightly, “We’ve only been here a couple hours. Don’t get me wrong, this shit ain’t my thing, but is Karkat really giving up that quick?”  
  
Behind you, Dave begins to speak up, but you cut in before he can. “Not everyone here hates themselves enough to waste their lifespan digging in some minerals for jack shit, Dick. Some of us realize every moment of our lives are precious, and wish to actually use them,” you spit with venom, eyes narrowed.   
  
“Was that ironic, or what?” replies the smug ass, “You two have been bored shitless for a while. Neither of you do very much of anything lately. Hell, I’d be willing to place a decent ass bet that you’re only asking to go home because this kind of work is too extensive for you. You’re lazy, and that’s just not how we roll around here.”   
  
Jake makes his way over, deciding it would be better with him there to mediate. He stops next to Dave and gives a very disapproving look, not that you care much what the numskull thinks. “Dirk, comrade, really why are you such a busybody today? I can understand the fellow’s restlessness, I myself am aching for some action. Perhaps we could go find another adventure, an adventure is always a grand pick me up!” he chirps, smiling his idiotic buck-toothed grin. If he weren’t covering your ass, you might actually sock him in the face just to take him down a peg. 

Dirk pauses a moment, and you mock him in your mind for being so afraid to offend the Jake human. It’s almost as funny as Dave’s attempts at sincerity, and that was saying something. Dirk ends up scoffing in reply, putting a hand on his hip and raising an eyebrow. Man, he sure knew how to pull off looking like a douche bag. “I’m only concerned for the sinking standards, that’s all. Dave always seemed to be like the guy who had an appreciation for things worth his time.”  
  
Dave finally shows some form of expression, his mouth thinning into a line that clearly reads “dude, not cool”. Dirk meets his look equally, head still raised like the arrogant ass he is. You wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of hurting your feelings, so you just puff out your chest, crossing your arms and looking away. A strange silence passes over the group, and in no time you find your feet taking you away from the scene.

Jake’s voice calls out to you, but like hell you were answering that dumbass. It isn’t until you hear Dave’s voice that you even flinch. What the hell, couldn’t you just take a break? Dave’s mumble isn’t enough to stop you from deciding to decompress for a bit. Clambering over the chunks of stone, wood and dirt, you head for a nearby tree you had been eyeing, one with a nice branch reaching out for you to sit on. A perfect place to get away from the Striders and that damned English. Your shoes knock bits of bark to the grassy earth as you scramble up onto the branch, leaned against the trunk and sighing with a bit of relief.

Not that you really needed to get away in any sort of urgent manner, you can handle Dirk perfectly fine. It’s not as if a fearless and tough troll like you can’t handle some stupid human. Shame, what shame? Your face just gets heated sometimes, it’s not like you actually give a single shit pellet about any of today’s events, nor any commentary provided with it. Besides, you weren't crying, so really, no one has any proof that you’re upset in the slightest. Thank fucking god, you couldn’t stand to look any weaker right now.

Your breath releases slowly and smoothly as you do your best damn job to relax your muscles, leaning into the support of the tree and looking up through the leaves at the sky above, which was now turning a darker blue as it comes within a few hours of the sun setting. You watch the clear sky while attempting to practice some calming techniques that Harley taught you- not that you’d ever admit that you listen to her. Maybe she had decent ideas sometimes, but you just could not let her have a win, she is already enough of a prideful shitstain as it is. Still, you find it working, albeit only a little. Alternians had never learned any of this coping nonsense that Jade preached so frequently, so it was new to you, and you certainly didn’t expect it to work. How would she even know what real trauma felt like, let alone being raised on a blood-thirsty planet? Whatever the reason, she knew her stuff, and you can feel yourself loosening up a small bit.

That is, until something shakes the branch and nearly knocks you down to the grass below. Bristling, you cling to the branch and open your eyes to find a tall, smug blonde boy staring back at you through a rounded pair of shades. Maybe you love the idiot, but it sure wasn’t stopping you from hating his guts in this moment. “What, can’t go a moment without someone by your side, Strider?” you shoot, making sure he knew how much you resented him right now.

“Hell yeah I can’t, or, to be more specific, not a moment without your grouchy ass,” he says, his smile not fading even a little from his face, “it’s a serious condition, you’re like my oxygen tank man, in the obituary it’ll say ‘Dave Strider, died of a lack of yelling and insults in his life’. It’ll be hella sad. You’ll be at the funeral all sobbin’ and shit, except bam, then I wouldn’t have a lack of anything, and I’d be out of the coffin, straight into your motherfucking arms. You’ll be like ‘shit dude, that's hot’. It’ll be a happily ever after. A fucking Disney ending to this tragic tale.”  
  
Despite all your best efforts, you can’t really bring yourself to stay furious at this dumbass, only irked. You watch him closely through slitted eyes, making sure to show that he was not quite off the hook yet. “So what was your purpose in coming here? Won’t your stupid brother and his infantile boyfriend just follow?”  
  
Dave shakes his head, looking truly neutral on the matter. “Nah man, I told them to head home. I told them I was tired and I was packing you up and carrying our asses home. They’re probably already a few minutes ahead of us on the flight home, we better hurry up if we want to beat them.”

You’re left dumbfounded as to what part of you gave him the absurd idea that you gave a single shit about any of that. Your questioning glare is met with a laugh, and he playfully nudges your arm, careful not to knock you out of the tree. “I’m only kidding Kat, of course that shit doesn’t matter. Although, I still figure we should head home if you want time to read those shitty novels you want me to read,” he clarifies, undeterred as ever.

That’s enough to get your attention. You sit up straight, ears perked and eyes wide. “Well then what the hell are you waiting for Strider?! Take us home this instant!” you demand, putting your hands on his shoulders. He simply replies by slowly taking your hands off of him and floating around you in order to pick you up. You really start to feel like dead weight as he heaves you off the ground, although he doesn’t seem burdened. 

Your eyes dance around the scene of the land below as you ascend higher into the air, taking note of how minuscule everything becomes. Sure, everyone knew how small they and the things around them truly were, but it was always a shock to see it in person. Always a reminder, for better or for worse.

Out of seemingly nowhere, Dave speaks up, breaking the steady sound of air flowing by. “You know, Bro is really full of shit. I don’t feel at all like I have sinking standards. I feel like I got more than I deserved. Bro just can’t see it, he’s all wrapped up in his own judgement. Don’t feel down, KK. Alright?” 

You look up to find him not even looking in your direction. He is simply staring at the distant horizon, expressionless as usual. “I wasn’t,” you reply, huffing a bit, “I couldn’t care less what that douchesack thinks.” Dave lets out a hum that tells you that he isn’t fully convinced, and you can’t imagine why. You were being honest. 

At least, that’s what you wish he’d believe.


	4. Out of the Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John is a dick, but not on purpose.

So this is what victory feels like. Hm, certainly not something you are generally accustomed to, but you also could not say that you are not thoroughly enjoying it. As per his end of the deal, Dave Strider is currently engaging in an activity that he never once thought would occur- the reading of an Alternian romance novel. Mind, he was not the one reading it, he can’t even read your “Alternian gibberish”, but he is forced to sit and listen to you read nonetheless, and even more than that, is allowing you to pause every so often to go off on tangents about the nature of quadrants and vacillation. In all the years you have known him, he has never looked so utterly out of his element. 

“So,” he interrupts, scratching his head, “I get these pairing things ‘n all, but I’m a little confused at the same time, like, alright, so a bro can’t bump uglies with his bro if they’re all up n hugging on each other and shit, but they also can’t like, annoy each other in the slightest or it’s some weird social taboo? Like, shit man, I know this stuff is pointless and overly touchy, but what the hell? Why all the fucking rules?” 

You close the book a moment, saving the page with your thumb while raising your other hand to motion as you speak. “My god, Strider, not even a self-destructive anarchist with the tyrannical urge of a Jack Noir could wish for such havoc on society. Each role keeps the social order stabilized, you obtuse douche!” you answer, shooting him a disappointed look. He smiles a bit, but not so much in a way that displays joy, more in a way that displays embarrassment.

“Yeah, see well, alright, ignoring hundreds of years of human history, if that really makes sense then,” he pauses, as if not quite sure how to ask this, “what the hell are we doing? We have a blast annoying each other, yet here you are cuddlin’ up on me like a bro mid-infatuated bromance, but then there were those few times where we got down to some serious make out sessions, and even got pretty close to-”  
  
Unwillingness to listen to the rest of that thought pushes you to interrupt him loudly and abruptly, putting your hands up as if a traffic guard directing a car to yield. “Strider, stop it right there! You want the truth?” at this he nods, which causes you to take a deep breath and clarify, “We vacillate, a lot, and I’m not proud of it. For a troll, I am a miserable excuse for a romantic partner. I vacillate constantly with people, and fuck, that’s not really a good thing! In fact, it’s why me and Terezi are so distant now.”

Dave seems very uninterested in the self-deprecation you spew his way. “See, Karks, that’s just it though, humans don’t fuckin’ work like you guys do. To me, your ‘vackiltation’, or whatever the fuck you call it, is just, you know, healthy shit. Man, fuck it, if you’re so worked up over quadrants, what are you even calling this?”

A moment of silence passes as you think through your words, and exactly how honest you should be. In the end, as per usual, you decide on no filter. “I’m calling this a perfect display of how fucked up I am, and how freakishly mutated I’ve always been.”

His lips thin into a fine line, and his brows furrow. He doesn’t look very pleased with that assessment. You can’t imagine why this bothers him so much, especially considering this wasn’t his usual, lighthearted annoyance that you two felt towards one another quite often. This was a serious, concerned annoyance. “Man, I ain’t even really that offended by that shit, but you need to quit sayin’ it,” he urges. You could almost feel his stare through his aviators. “Like, I get it, you trolls are fucking weird as hell- but I mean, I like what we have goin’ on here, y’know? What if we just didn’t worry about it?”   
  
Your jaw drops. What? “You mean like, don’t do quadrants?” you say with so much confusion that anyone would've thought you were just told you were a clone. Well, you sort of are, but so is everyone you know. Despite this utter shock, Dave nods nonchalantly.   
  
He opens his mouth to clarify a bit more, but is cut off with a loud slam, followed by a cheery “Hey guys!” There goes John, having barged in with no warning, clearly very excited about something. You’re sure that Dave would be happy to see his best br- ...Dave? You turned around to look at Strider only to find him up on his feet, sword in hand, sweating and shaking. Oh, yeah, you forgot. Sudden entrances and door slamming are a big no-no.  
  
John seems to realize his mistake, but not before you get all worked up. It wasn’t like you really meant to, but when Dave realized it wasn’t his childhood tormentor back from the dead or whatever, he had fallen back and begun to let his panic attack pass over him, which had really just pushed you into a defensive mode. “John, what the ever-living hell?!” you shout, taking a step forward, “I can’t tell if you’re brain-dead or just the worst person alive? How could you-”  
  
The tall blue-eyed boy shushes you, giving a concerned look to Dave, which helped you realize that your yelling was not helping. Briskly throwing a blanket over Dave, you mumble an excusing of yourself and roughly drag John out into the hallway so that you could give him the tongue-lashing that you had wanted to. “If you think I won’t kick your ass just because you’re a grub-brained fool, think again Egbert!”

Egbert puts his hands up defensively, looking ashamed and alarmed. “Karkat, chill!” he responded, biting his lip, “I know that was stupid, I was just really excited! It’s easy to forget about Dave’s whole thing, especially right now!” His face, despite the guilt, was still full of life. Whatever had him worked up, it was pretty damn big, because this guy was not calming down.  
  
You cross your arms and lean your weight on one foot, giving him a nasty glare. Personally, you didn’t really care what it was, that was still a dick move. Though, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t curious. “Spit it out, John. I have to go fix the mess you caused before Strider pisses his leggings,” you growl.   
  
Bouncing a little and looking around, he nods, then takes a deep breath. “Terezi is back!”   
  
Your eyes widen, your scowl dropping. Terezi is finally back home? Shit, that was pretty big news, maybe Egbert wasn’t melodramatic. The bounce in his step and his ever-cheery demeanor made a lot more sense with that information in mind. That left you with one looming question though, “Did she find Vriska?” 

John’s eyes seems to shine even brighter at the question, and he nods his head vigorously. “Yes! She did! Alive and breathing and everything, Karkat, it’s finally over!” 

His weightlessness drops off a bit as you fail to show the same excitement that he had. As much as you truly cared for Terezi, Vriska wasn’t exactly someone you missed in the slightest. Her constant bossing and taunting would have made the last few years a lot less enjoyable; Vriska is, in simple terms, a bitch. John attempts to put a hand on your shoulder, but you pull away, the less pleasant news reminding you to get back to Dave.  
  
“Karkat, I know you don’t like her, but-”

“John, kindly fuck right off. I have some things to take care of,” you interrupt, making your way for the door. You freeze in the doorway as you hear a quick “wait” called behind you. Crossing your arms, you turn around and lean on the door frame, raising a brow.

The blue-clad boy in front of you lets out a sigh, wringing his hands together. “Everyone is going to a cookout to celebrate and… I think Terezi would really like it if you and Dave showed,” John mutters, not looking you in the eye. 

With a sigh, you nod, looking away as well. “Sure. Send me the information, and we’ll show up. Can I please go handle my own shit now?” you grumble. Looking guilty as ever, John nods, turning and walking away in a lot less of a cheerful tone as he had come in. Once he is out of sight, you slip into the apartment and quietly close the door before walking over to Dave, who was silently struggling to breathe regularly. You plop down right by him, scooting right next to him and wrapping your arms around him. Pretty soon you find yourself shooshing him, quietly coaching him on steady breathing.  
  
The two of you sit there for half an hour, your arms wrapped tightly around him. Normally a touch would only make it worse, but for whatever reason, your touch didn’t affect him so poorly. Eventually you had Dave grounded, and though you weren’t going to move until he showed signs of wanting you to, he didn’t seem as if he needed you there to breathe anymore. Good. 

Moments like this made it hard for you to separate Dirk from Dave’s lusus. You know they are technically different people from different lifetimes, but remembering that they were in a way the same and that his lusus had fucked him up so badly made you… angry. Very angry, and frankly, in need of someone to point fingers at. It sucked that you couldn’t give his lusus a piece of your mind, even if having him out of the picture was possibly best, so you found yourself blaming Dirk for Dave’s problems more often than you should.

  
As soon as Dave was thinking clearly, you explain what had happened. He had reactions quite similar to yours. When you explain the cookout, he nods tiredly, resting his head on your shoulder. “Yeah, I’m up for it,” he mutters with an exhaustion in his voice. “I just want to rest here for a bit though... it’s not tonight, is it?”  
  
You shake your head, running a hand through his hair gently. “No, it’s not, that would be stupid. John is sending me the information later. You can rest.”  
  
Dave nods in response, hugging his arms around your waist and drifting off. It isn’t long until you are out as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long! I've been having a lot of writer's block. Thanks for sticking with me!


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